(Originally written in April, 2005)
On a Masonic email forum to which I subscribe, the question was raised recently as to whether it was required that Brethren participating in a Masonic funeral procession wear tie, jacket, and wear only white gloves with a white apron. Additionally, it was asked whether or not wearing past master aprons in such a procession was appropriate.
My response was to quote the Indiana Masonic Memorial Service pamphlet on this issue.
"At any type of Masonic funeral or memorial service the Brethren should wear appropriate clothing -- dark suit with white shirt and black shoes. Members should be clothed in white gloves and aprons before entering the room in which the ceremonies are conducted. The apron should be worn on the outside of the coat, and, in all circumstances, the apron strings should be tied in a neat bow under the bib."-- Grand Lodge of Indiana F&AM, "Masonic Memorial and Funeral Ceremonies", 1976 edition; p. 4.
This seems fairly cut and dried. However, subsequent responses in the same thread suggested that a significant number of brethren did not agree with me -- even though the funeral ritual is quite specific as to these requirements. I responded again more or less as I write below (I have made some editorial changes and additions to what I actually posted to the forum).
How we dress at a public Masonic function should not even be a topic for discussion. That it is strikes me as being just another symptom of the inexorable decline of our Fraternity. We joke (well, some do) about serving spaghetti or hot dogs (or maybe both) on a paper plate for a Master Mason degree dinner. We opine about the declining knowledge of ritual among our brethren (more particularly among the officers we elect to lead our lodges), and we argue about what constitutes proficiency in the lectures. But indeed, our lowering of standards in the articles of the festive board, our ritual work, and Masonic proficiency is something our forebears would have recoiled from, and I see no reason to believe they would not have recoiled equally from the slackening of our standards of dress.
To them it was a matter of simple respect, and to us it should be as well.
The funeral service is a public ceremony, after all, and the Fraternity should always be represented in public with honor, dignity, and pride. It is VITALLY important "how it's going to look." What do we want the public face of Freemasonry to look like, anyway? When exactly did funerals become casual affairs?
The young man who may be drawn to Masonry because of the funeral service held for his grandfather may have a different opinion if the men conducting it are dressed in, say, golf shirts and slacks. In like situation, certainly I would consider it a lot less impressive, and I frankly would question whether the men cared more about my grandfather or more about getting this over with so they could get on with more important things.
In an article published back in 2004, radio host Dennis Prager tells the story of his producer who was the only man in attendance at his daughter's high school graduation ceremony who had bothered to wear a jacket and tie. (Three other men were wearing ties without jackets.) Prager says:
This story exemplifies yet another aspect of the age in which we live, the Age of Stupidity. Only in an age that rejects wisdom could most people believe that clothing is unimportant. Callers to my radio show have often told me, for example, that it is entirely unimportant what people wear even to church -- after all, God sees people's hearts, not their clothing, right?Clothing has come to have no other purpose than providing comfort to the wearer. Fewer and fewer people appreciate how much what we wear affects both us and the people around us.
Prager and I find ourselves in complete agreement about how wrong this is. He points out:
What we wear communicates what we think of ourselves, but even more so, what we think of the world around us.When guests dress up for a wedding, they do so in order to honor the bride and groom and to proclaim how much they honor the marriage ceremony.
When students and teachers dress up for school every day, they are honoring education. It demonstrates the foolishness of the people who run American education that they, of all people, so often lead the attack on school uniforms. Incredibly, they don't understand how much respect education loses when students wear to school what they wear to the mall.
When parents and others attending a high school graduation show up in shorts, T-shirts, Hawaiian flower shirts and jeans, they are saying to the students that this night is no more significant than any other time they wear the same clothing. Just ask students how they would react if all the male guests wore jackets and ties and all the women dressed equally formally.
Which of these analogies represent what we want for the loved ones of our departed brother?
In the forum, a vague argument was made suggesting that we should pay more attention to "Masonic compassion". I am not sure to whom this compassion was to be directed, but I suspect it was to the brother who shows up in casual clothing or who insists on wearing his past master's apron. If this is the case, apropos Prager, we should consider that this "compassion" may be misdirected. Is it compassionate to the family to appear as if we have no respect for their loved one?
These are "the last offices of respect and love that we pay to the dead", and they "are useless ceremonies except as they are lessons to the living"! It may indeed be "of little moment to [our departed brother] how or in what manner his obsequies are performed", but certainly it is of great moment to us -- and more importantly, it is of great moment to his family! They asked us to be there, after all. Clearly they wanted the pomp and ceremony. It is not our place to deny it to them by showing up looking like we're on our way to the ball game or the golf course. (While we may be, we can always carry a change of clothes with us and spare them wondering if asking us was an imposition on our time.)
In the community at large Masons should -- nay, Masons MUST -- be willing and able to hold ourselves to a higher standard. Remember the EA charge: "For these are to distinguish you from the rest of the community, and mark your consequence among Masons." Granted this refers to keeping secret the mysteries of the Order, but why should only the mysteries "distinguish [us] from the rest of the community"?
It would seem that our ancestors had a better sense of propriety. Have we lowered our sights? Have we lowered our expectations? If so -- more's the pity. Nothing less than the honor, glory, and reputation of the institution are at stake.
"Keep the young generations in hail,
And bequeath them no tumbled house!"
Brethren, the house is tumbling. Our standards are dropping. Our Fraternity is in decline. At what point do we finally stand athwart history and yell, "Stop"?
Wearing appropriate attire to a Masonic memorial service might be one way to start.